‘Identical Laughs, Mirrored Mourning’: Three Poems by Saurabh Suman
Art: Sarah J. Siddique
‘in the music that declares the arrival of autumn— / the evening breeze caressing / almost dried-up leaves, / trembling as they cling to the stem’
Smell of Belonging
In the rush toward the
startled boil-over of tea,
in the innocent reluctance
before tasting a new dish,
in the music that declares the arrival of autumn—
the evening breeze caressing
almost dried-up leaves,
trembling as they cling to the stem,
in the traces
of raindrops on soil,
in the idle wandering of clouds,
resides home.
It slips quietly
from return
into the ache of wanting to.
It sleeps in gazing at a house
that once was home,
Home does not leave us
after being left.
It does not belong to a place,
it lives in the recognition
of the belonging’s absence.
Belonging,
which is not as much a name of
similarity,
as the quiet acceptance
of foreignness.
Home is a smell,
the memory of the body
before thinking begins,
a beautiful illusion
of being known, it is alike,
what a cat’s eye produces.
*
Clay of Desire
Identical laughs,
mirrored mourning—
you must feel
only as much as
you are told.
Fingers of trends knead,
wheel-throw our desire.
The digital kiln fires
only the shapes
emoticons can hold.
*
Wait
Evening’s gilded fingers
unhand the words of my book,
caressing as if whispering a promise
to return tomorrow.
The moon arrives, tiptoe—
hiding, peeking,
as letters darken
and words yawn.
I turn pages with frantic haste,
hold tighter, read faster,
as if urgency could
outpace the inevitable.
But then,
a breath.
I lift my eyes.
My flowerpot dissolves
into the swallowing dusk.
The letters clung, lingering,
until the moment
I surrender to dark
and let the night flood in.
Perhaps love slips away the same,
I lose the light
by turning my eyes from
the fragile, shivering glow
to the gathering night.
We lose love, often,
before it’s truly gone.
If only we had strained
to see what remained,
instead of naming the end
too soon, too fast—
if only I hadn’t called
the weakening light
darkness,
too soon,
too fast.
***
Saurabh Suman is a master’s student in Transcultural Studies at Heidelberg University. His research interests include culture, gender, and politics. During his leisure time, he enjoys cooking, music, and poetry. You can find him on Instagram: @saurabhh.sumann and X: @SaurabhhSumann
