social isolation blues
Photo: Karan Madhok
‘i have time to ask why i have time, / to contemplate this sudden nothingness.’
this is the worst thing to ever happen
to me: nothing to do but spend my time.
i dive into a swimming pool of time
inside my personal vault like currency
minutes, days, weeks, and years deposited
by kind storks of privilege in my savings
account. i have the time to be restless
and the time to be bored. i am burdened
only by a faint whiff of dread - the smell
of soap and hand sanitisers - instead
of bathing in the stench of desperate
survival. my pain's borrowed in snippets,
shared by co-isolates in the safety
of separation. i'm untouched and un-
touched. i have time to ask why i have time,
to contemplate this sudden nothingness.
i swim in time; the currents slap my face.
if i'm still breathing after this, i'll gasp
for breath, drowning in time's eternal depths
locked inside the vault i never opened
for anyone else.
***
Karan Madhok is a writer, journalist, and editor of The Chakkar, whose fiction, translation, and poetry have appeared in The Literary Review, The Lantern Review, F(r)iction, and more. He is the founder of the Indian basketball blog Hoopistani and His sports journalism has been published for NBA India, SLAM Magazine, Firstpost, Scroll, and more. A graduate of the American University’s MFA programme, Karan is currently working on his first novel. Twitter: @karanmadhok1
